Remembering NYPD Police Officer Jonathan Diller

I am sitting here this morning feeling numb over the senseless murder of NYPD Police Officer Jonathan Diller.

P.O. Diller was killed by a career criminal, with over twenty prior arrests, including a gun charge, during a traffic stop in Far Rockaway, Queens.  I did not know Officer Diller, as I retired nearly twenty years ago, but I am proud to call him my brother. It is a family bond, not born through shared blood, but of one much stronger: the shared blood of those we have lost since the Department’s inception.

Growing up in Queens, my dream was to one day be a New York City Police Officer. That dream came to fruition in January 1985, when I was sworn-in to the Department. That dream became a nightmare exactly one year later when, as a rookie cop, I responded to the murder of Detective Anthony Venditti. Less than six months later, Police Officer Scott Gadell, a member of my squad in the 101 Precinct was murdered. I worked with Scott the night before, and nearly forty years later I can still recall the moments of that last night.

These two events drove home the harsh reality of being an NYPD cop. In the following years, the list of those making the ultimate sacrifice would grow longer and funerals became a common occurrence. Each one a reminder to those of us attending of the dangers we faced daily and a testament to the Department motto: Fidelis Ad Mortem, Faithful Unto Death.

While Officer Diller’s sacrifice will be solemnly recognized by his family, both blood and blue, it will be used as a platform for some of the most vile and reprehensible people I know: politicians.

Already, social media is rife with commentary from members of the New York City political scene, thumping their chest and decrying this senseless act. Yet these very same people are the ones directly responsible for the environment that caused it.

The truth is, being a cop is a thankless job. You are the enforcement arm of the state, and your presence never makes anyone feel better. We have the power to arrest and take away your rights. Most times we get it right, sometimes we don’t. Despite the training, despite the overwhelming desire to do good, we are only humans, just like everyone else, but we are expected to be better and we should be. It is however a requirement for any civilized society. We are the ones who willingly sacrifice our lives to protect the innocent.

Over the last decade plus, I have watched with dismay this growing trend to vilify the police at almost every turn and I have written about it before: STOP BLAMING THE COPS. Tragedies, exploited for cause, used to disparage the men and women of law enforcement. I get the politicians; they’ve become so dishonest that we don’t even realize the true extent that they lie for political gain. What bothers me is the average citizen who believes them. Perhaps it is a lack of civics in schools now, but it seems to me that most people don’t understand how our system of government operates.

Blaming the police for enforcing the law highlights the ignorance of people. We are the enforcement arm, but we are not the legislative arm. We take an oath and our duty is to enforce the law. The police do not create these laws, the politicians do. They are the same folks who stand in front of the cameras (or get on social media) and attack the police when an arrest goes bad, but neglect to mention that they are the ones who made the laws they expect the police to enforce.  It’s a great job, because the average citizen buys into these nonsensical claims they make and keep re-electing them. Explain to me, like I’m three, how it makes any sense to you that politicians pass laws for the police to enforce, but at the same time condemn them for enforcing them? You’re damned if you do your job and you’re damned if you don’t.

I keep hoping that this will be the last time I have to express my outrage about another senseless murder of a NYC Cop, but I know it won’t be. It wasn’t the last time when I wrote about the deaths of Police Officers Jason Rivera and Wilbert Mora. Nor was it the last when I wrote about the death of Police Officer Miosotis Familia, or Police Officer Brian Moore, or Police Officers Rafael Ramos and Wenjian Liu.  

Having been a cop back in the 80s, when we were both short staffed and dealing with the explosion of drugs, I thought I’d seen it all, but as I look back, I realize how good we had it. Yes, the streets were dangerous, but the threat was always in front of us. We never really had to worry about being stabbed in the back by the politicians and, for the most part, the citizens supported us. I could not imagine trying to pursue my childhood dream of being a cop today.

The NYPD will soon bury our lost brother, and he will be posthumously awarded the Medal of Honor and promoted to the rank of Detective. We will grieve his loss, alongside his family, but then the job will do what it has always done: Go back to work. Whether you like them or not, you need to remember that the men and women of the NYPD are the last line of defense; the brave souls who stand in the breach, against the violence and anarchy that lies in wait.

It would behoove the citizens of this once great city to wake up and decide who you are going to support. Those who work tirelessly to protect you or the politicians and district attorneys who have acted recklessly, who have pushed for soft on crime measures, and then lie and blame the police when those steps prove ineffective?

No one would be shocked if a child, who grew up watching one of their parents mentally and physically abuse the other, did the same thing when they grew up. Yet somehow we act shocked when our elected representatives sow the seeds of discontent, the fires of which are fanned by the media, that lead to these types of attacks being committed against on our police.

You elect them folks and they are your responsibility. If you no longer feel safe, if you are worried about becoming a victim every time you leave your home, then maybe it’s time to find new leadership. It took decades of NYC sinking into a cesspool of crime and poor quality of life conditions in order to elect Mayor Rudy Giuliani. It took much less time to piss it all away again. It’s up to you to change the course that the City is heading.

Don’t let Officer Diller’s death be in vain. Remember him when you head to the ballot box on election day; remember the wife and young child he left behind serving this once great City. Change begins when the good people of New York City stand up to the political cowards and say, ‘Enough.’

Passing of Country Music Icon Toby Keith (1961-2024)

It is with profound sadness that I woke up this morning to the news that country music legend, Toby Keith, passed away after his battle with stomach cancer.

Toby was an amazing songwriter and musician, but as an NYPD 9/11 First Responder, he held a very dear place in my heart. While he is known for such hits as: Should’ve Been a Cowboy, Whiskey Girl, Beer For My Horses, and How Do You Like Me Know? the song that resonated deepest for me was: Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue.

In the aftermath of the 9/11 Terror Attacks, there were three defining songs: Alan Jackson’s Where Were You? Darryl Worley’s Have You Forgotten, and the aforementioned Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue. These songs seemed to encapsulate the many emotions we faced as a nation: Pain and Resolve.

Toby put into words what we were all feeling in those dark days of September:

“Now this nation that I love has fallen under attack
A mighty sucker punch came flyin' in from somewhere in the back
Soon as we could see clearly
Through our big black eye
Man, we lit up your world
Like the fourth of July”

I remember once reading that it was a controversial song, and a knee-jerk reaction, and I felt dismayed. America is not perfect, but no country ever is, but there is a reason why everyone looks to us; wants to come here. For all our faults, we stand as a beacon for freedom and liberty. Our politicians might suck, but the average American has a heart of gold and will give you the shirt off their back if you are in need. We look upon the American flag with reverence, because we know the awful price that has been paid for the freedoms we enjoy. To paraphrase USMC General James Mattis, America is "No Better Friend, No Worse Enemy."

It is a sad day for me, but, like so many of country music’s great singers, Toby’s music will live on. Outspoken, fearless, and unapologetically patriotic, he was undeniably country and he famously put into words what we were all feeling so many years ago. As a cancer survivor, and someone who lost his partner to this cruel disease, let me say this from the bottom of my heart: Fuck Cancer.

God Bless and Rest in Peace, Toby.

REMEMBERING SEPTEMBER 10TH, 2001

“Where were you on September 11th, 2001?”

It’s a question I have heard asked countless times over the last two plus decades. Everyone recalls where they were on that fateful day when they heard the news about the terrorist attacks in NYC, Shanksville, PA and the Pentagon. I’m no different, and I wrote about my story in my book: Where Was God? An NYPD first responder’s search for answers following the terror attack of September 11th 2001.

But for many of us, the memories of 9/11 don’t begin on that day. There is an emotional lead up that culminates in 9/10; the last day before our world was forever and irrevocably changed. I’m sure if I had the chance to speak with a veteran who was at Pearl Harbor on December 6th, 1941, they would share the same story. Remembering the last time that things were ever ‘normal.’

I remember September 10th.

I spent the evening watching Monday Night Football, sitting in bed feeling frustrated, because I had to get up early the next morning to cover the NYC primary election. I was glued to the game, watching my beloved NY Giants eventually lose to the Denver Broncos.  

That’s my last memory of normal.

At that time I had been a cop for over 15 years. I thought I had seen just about everything, but a few hours after waking up, I would learn just how wrong I was.

For the 23 members of the service we lost on 9/11, they never enjoyed another normal day. Twenty-Two years later, many of us have been forced to embrace a new normal, as we struggle with health issues due to exposure of toxins at Ground Zero. The scourge of cancer almost loses its sting when you realize that it is most likely not a question of if, but when.

You reflect a lot on the fact that 9/11 wasn’t a singular terrorist attack, but a generational one that continues to claim lives two decades later. It’s difficult to embrace normal when you get constant notifications alerting you that we’ve lost another first responder to a 9/11 illness.   

Tomorrow politicians and pundits will dust off the tired old mantra: Never Forget, but the reality is we are forgotten; only remembered one day a year and then put back into the closest until the next anniversary. The majority of them have never had to struggle with having a normal day. The constant political fight to fund the 9/11 Health Program proves just how quickly they forget and move on.

Today I reflect on what life was like before that day and tomorrow I will mourn those we lost; killed in the initial attack or its lingering aftermath. Tomorrow will be about ‘remembering the heroes,’ but knowing that the door will close again on September 12th for another year.

WTC Cross Photo courtesy of Anne Bybee-Williams © 2001

Interview with Sgt. Betsy Brantner Smith (National Police Association)

I had the absolute pleasure of being interviewed by retired sergeant, Betsy Brantner Smith, for the podcast she does for the National Police Association.

Some of you might be familiar with Betsy, as she has appeared on a number of news shows, including Newsmax, and Fox.

Despite some minor technical glitches (rural internet being what it is), we managed to have a great time. Betsy is an awesome interviewer and we touched on a number of topics, including my career with the NYPD, my transition to author, and the state of policing.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Click on the photo below or the link provided at the botom.

New Book: James Maguire Origin Story

Those of you who familiar with the James Maguire series will know that before he joined the NYPD he was a US Navy SEAL. I have had an idea sitting on the backburner for a few years and decided that I would pursue it and have enjoyed writing this new story.

This story centers around Maguire’s time in the SEAL teams and has him being sent to Mexico on a clandestine operation. I don’t want to give too many details away, so I’ll just attach an image and let your imagination run with it.

The book is about 80% complete and I hope to have it available shortly. I’ll update you on the progress as it gets closer to publication.

Once again, that you for your continued support.

If you are interested in learning more about my books, please check out my Amazon Page