Writing Tips: Getting your law enforcement characters right!

The tires on the unmarked, midnight black Ford Mustang locked up, leaving twin ebony streaks along Fifth Avenue and filling the air with the pungent odor of burned rubber, in front of St. Patrick’s Cathedral. Colton Bane leaped from the car, his blued steel .44 caliber Smith & Wesson Model 29 in one hand and his NYPD detective badge in the other. He approached the group of uniformed cops standing outside the entrance. “Who’s in charge?” he asked gruffly. “I am, sir,” a sergeant responded. “I’m taking operational command,” Bane replied. “Give me a sit-rep.” “A terrorist is holding the Cardinal and several parishioners hostage in the sanctuary. ESU is responding, but they are a half hour out.” “No time to wait,” Bane scowled, “I’m going in. Give me your MP-5.” The sergeant handed Bane his weapon. “Secure the perimeter,” Bane said. “I’ll handle this.” “Yes, sir,” the sergeant replied, redirecting his cops. Bane racked the weapon’s slide, chambering a round, and entered the darkened church.

Thrilling, yes?

Realistic,………..?? Absolutely not, yet it is something that plays out in a lot of books and movie / TV shows.

As an author I get it. You want to create these dramatic events, or elevate the ‘badassery’ of your protagonist, but there is an inherent risk that you will also turn off a large segment of your readers / viewers and that is the last thing you should want.

Why do I say this?

While it is often acceptable to take some literary license with your work, the above paragraph completely ‘jumps the shark.’ If someone were to write the above paragraph it would conclusively show that they have either done zero research or they don’t care. It’s one of the reasons my family will not watch a NYC themed movie with me, because I pick stuff apart for their sloppiness.

In the above case, let’s point out the problems:

1.       NYPD does not assign unmarked Mustangs.

2.       NYPD does not use .44 caliber revolvers and the nomenclature for a badge is a ‘shield.’

3.       Rank is respected and a sergeant, who is a superior officer, would not refer to a detective as ‘sir,’ nor would they relinquish control of a scene if they were the ranking officer present.

4.       A sergeant would also not be the ranking officer at such a high-profile incident like a terror attack. You would have everyone from the P.C. down at the scene, and certainly an ungodly amount of chiefs present.

5.       Normal uniformed patrol officers do not carry heavy weapons, which an MP-5 would qualify as, and they would not relinquish it to anyone else.

6.       ESU would be on the scene within several minutes and they, not the lone detective, would be the ones making entry.

7.       MP-5’s don’t have slides, they have a cocking lever, but cops don’t carry their weapons without a round in the chamber.

Unless you are writing within the supernatural genre, fiction should fall within the realm of plausibility. Working within the lines of a particular subject, such as police work, establishes credibility with the reader. Then, when you have to dip slightly outside those lines a bit, in order to further your plot, they are less likely to be as critical. Take my character of James Maguire.

Do I take some literary license with him? Yes, I do. In my twenty-years with the NYPD I can’t say I knew too many 1st Deputy Commissioners or Police Commissioners who were as hands-on as he is, but prior to that I established who he was. First, he had been a sworn officer (detective) and second he has a background in special operations (Navy SEAL). So he isn’t the typical civilian political appointee. When it comes time to do an interrogation readers accept that he has the ability from his time as both a SEAL and a detective, or when he bursts through a door it’s because he was a sworn officer, so his response is seen as normal.

That being said, when a raid on a terrorist location is conducted, it is not Maguire going through the door, but ESU. Why? Because, even though it is something Maguire has done, it would be grossly inappropriate. A closer examination shows that he is more involved in the planning / investigative side. When he steps outside this bubble, it is beyond his normal role, such as searching for someone outside the confines of New York City.

As writers, we owe it to the reader to get it right. This means taking the time to research the topic so we are proficient in it. It’s hard to believe that, in the 21st century, we have access to unlimited information and resources, yet we continue to get it wrong. I remember when I was doing research for my debut novel, PERFECT PAWN. I made sure I got the correct radio call-sign for the New York State Trooper. Why? Because I didn’t want someone familiar with the state police to read it and go, ‘Oh, that’s bullshit, that’s the troop code for Farmingdale, not Batavia.’  Remember, the devil is in the details.

One of the glaring mistakes that turn me off a series occurred on the popular television show: BLUE BLOODS. Tom Selleck plays the lead character, Police Commissioner Frank Reagan. This is an NYPD show, yet we see Frank not only wearing a uniform (remember, the police commissioner is a civilian mayoral appointee), but he wears 4 stars which are equal to the 1st Deputy Commissioner or Chief of Department. The show effectively demoted him.

Sorry, Frank, that’s not how this works,…………….

There are other issues, but I don’t want to ruin it for fans.

If there is one piece of advice that I can give to authors, it is to know your subject. Never assume that the same rules in LA apply for a cop in NY. If your book involves a detective in Miami, make sure you take the time to learn as much as you can about how the Miami-Dade police operate. Don’t lose the reader because you screw up the terminology or something as seemingly insignificant as the gun they carry and never, ever, have detectives issuing orders to ranking officers. Remember, detectives are (almost) always an appointed position. A big difference when compared to promoted. They might give ‘orders’ to police officers at crimes scenes for which they are responsible for, but try that with a sergeant and above and I guarantee they will get an ass-chewing.

Do I get it right 100% of the time? No. Are there times when I have to be flexible to push a story-line? Yes. But the key is to keep it real as much of the time as you can. A book that takes longer to write because you spend the time doing research will always be much better than the quick one with glaring errors.

Happy writing!

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Update: Summer 2020

I thought it would be a good time to welcome the new followers to this page and give them a brief introduction. First let me say thank you and hope that you enjoy your stay. I try not to overdo it on the emails, and generally just provide information regarding the status of the books I am writing and info on future releases.

If you are interested in knowing a little about who I am, please check out the ABOUT ME page.

If you are interested in knowing the best way to read the series, then please visit the ORDER OF BOOKS page. While each of the stories have their own plot, there are sub-issues and character arcs that weave in and out of the books. If you would like to purchase any of the books there are links to them.

As longtime followers know, we lost our beloved dog, Jax, a month ago. Needless to say it has been a very difficult time here as we adjust to his passing. Jax was the quintessential gentle-giant and our lives seem so empty without him. It has been an adjustment period for us, as well as our other dogs, as we learn to move on without him. If you’d like to read more about this amazing dog, check out my tribute to him at: Remembering Jax: You Gotta Bee-lieve

My current work, titled: Awakening – The Crystal Coven Saga, is in the editing phase and should be released next month. This book is a departure from my previous works in that it is a mix of police procedural and supernatural. I’ve always been a reader of different genres and I thought it would be interesting to try and meld the two worlds. In this book, you are introduced to Karl Sigurdsson, an NYPD detective who finds himself drawn into a series of unexplained killings that have not been solved. Since the majority of the prior killings included an element of criminality, on the part of the victims, no one was concerned when the cases went cold. As he investigates, he can’t help but question whether something more nefarious is at the heart of these seemingly random murders. At the same time, he has a chance meeting with the alluring, Gabrielle de Mar, and the two begin a whirlwind romance. Sigurdsson soon realizes that the criminal justice system may be the least of his concerns, as he finds himself drawn into the labyrinthian world of modern-day vampires that could soon turn him from hunter into the hunted.

Also in the works is book three in the Angelo Antonucci Cold Case Series. When the body of a missing cop is discovered in a construction site, Police Commissioner James Maguire tasks Antonucci with identifying the killer and bringing them to justice. Soon Ang finds himself investigating the Crazy Eight Cowboys, a drug distribution ring that was run by the missing officer’s partner who was the subject of an Internal Affairs Bureau investigation.  Hoping to have this novella finished before Fall. I know many of you have asked if there are any plans for a print version of the Antonucci books and the answer is a resounding Yes! It is my intention to do a print compilation as soon as I have enough pages to merit it. Depending on the length of this book, it could happen this time around or with the next Cold Case novella. I will keep you posted.

After that, it’s on to Book Four in the Alex Taylor series. I have the working outline nearly complete. This novel sees Alex leave the confines of beautiful Penobscot, at the request of her friend, New Hampshire State Police Captain Thomas Blackshear, to put a fresh set of eyes on a homicide case the Concord Police Department is investigating.  

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Why Do I Write ?

It’s a question that I have been asked probably a hundred or more times and it is a question you would think I would know the answer to, but incredibly it is one that I have struggled with, until now.

In the past I would simply say, ‘I have a lot of stories to tell,’ and while that is true, it doesn’t answer the actual question. Everyone has a lot of stories to tell, but not everyone becomes a writer. My first novel, PERFECT PAWN, came about because my wife dared me to write it, but seven years later I have nine novels, two novellas, and three non-fiction books published. I also have a tenth book ready to come out and two more outlines queued up and ready to go.

So why do I write?

The answer didn’t hit me until I read a blog post by Jason Allison, a fellow retired NYPD detective and author. Jason writes some terrific posts and I highly recommend you check them out. But it was one particular post titled: You Can’t Go Home Again, which really resonated with me.

From the ripe old age of five I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up, a New York City Police Officer, and for two decades I had a front-row seat to the Greatest Show on Earth. My time with the NYPD was filled with incredible experiences. To quote Charles Dickens, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness.”  There are no words to adequately explain a career spent with the largest police department in the United States, but one memory stands out and that was the day I retired from it.

After loading up my car and saying my goodbyes to my co-workers I walked out of my office, pausing for a moment to look back and it is this moment that is ingrained in me. My career was ending, but the job continued. It always does.

This month, the NYPD celebrates its 175th Anniversary. During that time, some of the most gifted and heroic police officers have been a member of the Department, but we all share a common legacy, and that is to say the job continued, long after we were gone.

It is true that my career gave me a lot of stories, both good and bad, that I draw from in my writings, but is that why I write? The answer to that question is no. I realize that the reason I write is to maintain that connection to the job.

As I sit here in my office, writing this post, I am surrounded by a collection of NYPD memorabilia that spans a period of time that is almost as old as the Department itself.  Sometimes I look at these items and think about the officers who wore or used them. What events, both good and bad, did they experience? Could they have ever imagined that the last time they touched it, that it would end up in the hands of another NYPD officer a hundred years later? The truth is that the NYPD is not who I was, but who I am.

My books are my link to the job. In creating the characters of James Maguire, Alex Taylor, and Angelo Antonucci, I have forged an eternal link between myself the Department. Long after I am gone, these characters will survive and so will my connection to the job.

Perhaps this is the reason other cops, such as Joseph Wambaugh, Ed Dee, and John Mackie, became writers, because as long as the characters live in the reader’s mind, so do you.

I could have retired from the job in 2005 and just walked off into the sunset, content in the knowledge that I had been a small part of the greatest police department in the world. But perhaps my greatest legacy will be that one day a reader will pick up one of my novels and say, ‘yeah, that’s what I want to do.’

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So this just happened - MWA

There are professional milestones in our lives that are so incredible that it's difficult to describe them adequately. It is a culmination of dedication and hard work that says, ‘You earned this.’

For me, the milestones in my NYPD career occurred when I put on the shields of Police Officer, Detective, and Sergeant. They were the outward representation of the blood, sweat, and tears I put in to achieve each of those ranks.

When I retired in 2005, I wondered if that would be the end. I’m proud to say they weren’t.

In 2013, when I published my first novel, Perfect Pawn, I wondered where the road to becoming an author would take me. It is no secret that most mystery authors aspire to be the next James Patterson, Ken Follett, Lee Child, Mary Higgins Clark, John le Carré, or Joseph Wambaugh. Why wouldn’t we? They are the titans in the mystery field.

So what does this have to do with me?

Well, I might not have attained their literary status (yet), but I achieved a significant milestone this morning. As of today, I have joined their ranks and have officially been inducted as a fellow member of the Mystery Writers of America!

To say I am both shocked and deeply honored would be a gross understatement.

When I began writing, the thought of being a member of this prestigious organization was nothing more than a wistful dream and yet, seven years later, here I am. But I would be remiss if I didn’t take a moment to thank you, my readers, for providing me the opportunity to achieve this great honor. Without your support and continued patronage, this would never have been possible.

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Best wishes & stay safe,

Andrew

Tools for Writers - ProWritingAid

I rarely endorse any products, but I recently came across one called ProWritingAid that has improved the way I write.

I wrote my first NYPD novel, Perfect Pawn, in 2012. Back then, my creative writing training comprised everything I had forgotten in school and the ungodly amounts of reports I had written during my police career. Not exactly a solid foundation to become an author, but I had a story to tell and I enjoyed writing them. Eight years later I have written thirteen books that span three different fictional series’ and several non-fiction works.

Over the years I have improved as a writer, but in the beginning I got blasted frequently by reviewers. While the found the books enjoyable, they took exception to the grammatical errors in my earlier works. What can I say besides mea culpa? As I said, I’m a story-teller, not an English major, but that doesn’t mean I am ignorant when it comes to acknowledging my weaknesses. So I did the best I could, taking the criticisms to heart and trying to learn on my own.

As an aspiring author, you learn several hard truths. The first is that this game is rig against you. Those lucky enough to get a publishing contract get access to a wide variety of tools that help them deliver a polished product, including editing services. Indies can also accomplish that, but it comes out of their pocket.

Here’s a rate schedule put out by the Editorial Freelancers Association in 2008:

Basic copyediting: $25 to $40 per hour Pace: 5 to 10 pages an hour
Heavy copyediting: $35 to $50 per hour Pace: 2 to 5 pages an hour
Substantive editing: $40 to $65 per hour Pace: 1 to 6 pages per hour (also called line editing)
Developmental editing: $50 to $80 per hour Pace: 2 to 5 pages per hour

For argument’s sake, let us assume that an Indie author produces a 350 page book. Even with the most basic editing, it will probably run them around $2k. This means that they will have to sell over 1k books before they realize any profit. If you add in the cost for a cover and formatting, it will be a lot more.

I found myself in the same literary boat. While I had the ability to design my own covers, and taught myself formatting, I floundered in the area of editing. I tried to get the help of others, more knowledgeable in grammar, including an English teacher, but it wasn’t enough.

About a year ago, I came across a link for a program called ProWritingAid. Admittedly, I was skeptical at first, but since it was a onetime fee, I bit the bullet and tried it. I figured the worse it could be was a tax deduction at the end of the year. I ran my first novel, Perfect Pawn, through it and sat back. Now mind you, I had been ‘editing’ this book for nearly seven years. Every time I would get a negative review I would go back and do another review to fix the mistakes.  At the point I ran it through the ProWritingAid summary program. I thought the book was pretty solid, clearly I was wrong.

What the results showed was that my overall score, after all those edits, was only a 77 out of 100. On top of that, my grammar was an 81 and my style was an abysmal 56. It felt like I got kicked in the guts.

I sat down and began reviewing each chapter, doing my best to make corrections, while not impacting the story. In the end, I improved my overall to a 93 and my grammar to a 99. I wish it were perfect, but you will never be 100 percent. After all, in one of George R. R. Martin’s professionally published / edited book there is a sentence that says they “raped the windows”……….. Ouch.

As indie authors, we must always look to improve, not just for ourselves, but for the readers experiences as well. I firmly believe that ProWritingAid can do that, so much so that I have gone back and have begun re-editing all of my books using this program. Not only is it going to help with your grammar and spelling, but it will also show you the words you use too much.

If you are an author, on a limited budget, I suggest that you give it a try. I’m sure you will find it to be a worthwhile investment.

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Best wishes, Stay Safe, & God Bless.

Andrew